i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I need to stop coming to work sober
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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