The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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