can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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