Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
