I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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