p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We need a shit load of segways right now
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
