guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
