I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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