We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
