Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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