Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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