I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
