Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
