You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
