she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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