Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
