Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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