It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
