singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
