I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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