stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
