Jerry, you need to find god
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So many bounce houses so little time
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
