who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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