my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
