Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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