I wish i was in the wii world.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
