I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
