did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
