I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
