you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
