...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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