Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just saw a hot homeless man
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
