doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
