So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Randomize
