I haven't been this sober since birth.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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