The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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