dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
