The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
