I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
