I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize