The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
