Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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