i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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