I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
