I got chris browned last night
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
organizing the empties. That sober.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
