the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
