i was born a porn star she said
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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