Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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