: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
