You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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