The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
