What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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