he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize