I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's not a walk of shame if you run
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
