It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
