You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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