The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize