he shaved USA in his pubs
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
