She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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